The House of the Devil (2009)

You might hear something like this come out of the mouth of a horror movie fan: "The House of the Devil is so boring." If a person says this to you, you should regard that person as an idiot. They probably enjoyed all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes and have probably never seen Psycho or Night of the Living Dead. If you are going to read reviews of The House of the Devil, do yourself a favor and read ones written by real critics, not the morons who write for horror magazines. Or you could just take my word for it and see this film. It's very good.

I'm sorry to take aim at horror fans like that. In truth, they're not all slasher-loving imbeciles, but I read a lot online about this movie, fan reactions in particular, and it pissed me off.

Anyway, about The House of the Devil. It's a really good horror film. The problem with 90% of "scary" movies is that there is all payoff and no build-up, but in this one, director Ti West does the exact opposite. There is so much build-up in The House of the Devil that I had nearly pissed myself about halfway through, before anything scary had even happened. This is much scarier that the sick crap that usually passes for horror. I'm sorry, but seeing someone gutted by a meat hook makes me vomit; it does not make me scared.

The first thing I want to discuss is the film's setting. The story takes place in the early 1980's. West explained in a behind-the-scenes featurette that he made this decision because back then it was possible to have a communications breakdown, something that would be impossible now. The thing that impresses me most is the fact that West filmed it like an 80's movie. From the grainy, almost dirty cinematography to the font used for the titles and credits, The House of the Devil is perfectly stylized. And I don't know, but it seems like there's just something creepier about the 80's.

The film is about a college girl named Sam (Jocelin Donahue) who is in dire need of some money so she can pay for an apartment. She sees an ad from a family in need of a babysitter and calls, arranging to babysit that night if they pay her double. She has a friend drive her to the family's scary-looking country house, where she meets Mr. and Mrs. Ulman (Tom Noonan and Mary Woronov looking as disturbingly creepy as I have ever seen any two actors). They inform her when she arrives that the job description is just a little different than they had said on the phone. They don't have a child; Sam will be there to look after Mr. Ulman's mother, an old woman who the Ulmans say will probably never come out of her room. They leave, and Sam pokes around the weird, dark house.

What she discovers and what happens to her are pretty terrifying. That's all I'm going to say. My only complaint is that the ending might be just a bit much. But that doesn't detract from the awesomeness of the film's build-up.

So, in closing, if you like good, creepy horror films that understand the meaning of suspense and the terror involved in what you don't see, this is the movie for you. If you prefer things like Hostel and the Last House on the Left remake, well, you don't deserve to watch movies.